Pickles & Praise

“Cursed in the garden of paradise
You knew the pain from a lover’s eyes
To get us back, You gave it all
Filled in the likeness of flesh on earth
You bore the cross that we deserved”

I’ve spoken about other lyrics in this same song before, and how they have, at times, been able to breathe life into me. These particular words crept their way into my heart and absolutely wrecked me.

I am music, and music is a part of me. Often what I am listening to is parallel to a portion of my life, how I feel, or something I want to express to a person or even to God. 

These lyrics… they came without warning as I was making my home and myself “still”.  

I have felt a surplus of emotion as of late. All things lovely, exciting, anxious, confusing, hard, and sometimes maddening. There is much movement in this season, and some found pieces of me that I have allowed to lay dormant for many years. The broken pieces beg to be brought to light and put back together but day by day each one forces me to reconcile or survey myself. Who am I now? Who was I then? Is this the beginning of something? Is this a new chapter with a sweet sting of an old one closed. Pieces … pieces… pieces … I have prayed for this without knowing that this is the answer I’d be given … None the less, we must “trust the process.”  

I tell you those things to bring you to my mindset and hence the reason I reached and pulled this song off of the mantle and into my speakers. 

Walking quietly through my home, I folded a blanket, turned off a lamp, all the while praying as I moseyed along… The sweet soft melody began to fill all the spaces around me. 

I was praying for others, praying for direction, praying for the pain around me (in other’s lives,) and genuinely praying for the pain in mine. A tug in my heart pushed forward this thought… “I love whole heartedly, and I also love immeasurably. This is my biggest strength but on the other side of this coin it creates great vulnerability and the propensity for great pain to be felt. Yet still, this is how I choose to love others. Without regard to my own safety and without conditions. It matters not if their capacity to love is less or none. But God … God is reckless with his love and his love is more abundant that anyone on earth could feel. Therefore this is a gift and should be cherished as such. The ability to love this way is not by accident. It is a direct offering from the one who loves us most. 

Then the lyrics broke in … 

“Cursed in the garden of paradise
You knew the pain from a lover’s eyes
To get us back, You gave it all
Filled in the likeness of flesh on earth
You bore the cross that we deserved”

Oooof. 

Immediately gratitude filled me with a response of overwhelming love for a God who would sacrifice everything for you, and for me, without condition of our behavior or accomplishment but rather for the small price of just inviting him to lead our lives. 

What a thing … 

I’ll leave you with this… more lyrics from this beloved song. 

“ I was made for heaven, I was made for Jesus 

I was made to walk in the cool of the day with you 

The whole point of my existence 

Is to know your love

The whole point of my existence 

Is to know you Lord.” 

What a pleasure to serve a maker who wants a deep and meaningful relationship with us. 

I am convinced until you surrender to this, you have missed how fulfilling relationships can be.

Surrender , there is the word.